The Mad Crapper

I was on the internet and I saw someone use the phrase “Gay shit” so the pepper mill started to grind and within seconds I was pissing myself thinking of a “Gay shit” no not a turd with glasses a lisp and buck teeth like Alan carr but what the definition of what a “Gay shit” would be?….I came to the conclusion it must be a shit that sort of comes out and wedges half way like a turtle head then goes back in then you have to push it out so in theory its sort of bumming you…sick I know but I m a sick bastard so blame my gene pool.
Anyways I thought why stop there as I have names for certain dumps I take…here they are maybe you can relate?

TURDIS
Its one of them shits you do that felt like nothing but when you look in the pan its some sort of tank type shit.
GYPSY BIDET
This one is a fucker and I hate them….its when you drop a bomb down the bowl and it hits the water like a bouncing bomb and splashes the bog water up on to your arse giving you a pikey arse washing and makes you feel a little violated…this is also known as a Loggers Leap in the surrey area.
GARY SHITTER
This is a like Gary Glitter its some nasty shit that you know is wrong.
THE BOG ON THE TYNE
This one is when you shit pure brown water out your arse that looks like Newcastle brown ale and it fogs the bog water up like the fog on the Tyne.
HMS BATTLESHIT
This is one of them big craps that drops and floats around the pan like it rules the fukin waves, it refuses to fukin sink and disappear until you cover it in paper after flushin it twice before.
TURD PAC SHITTUR….ABOVE THE RIM
This is a bastard…its when you put down some paper in the bowl before you shit so you don’t get the Gypsy Bidet/Loggers Leap shit but instead when you flush the shitter and its blocks…so the fukin bog water goes up above the rim one wrong flush and ya bathroom floor is turdsville…what a fucker, especially if your at someone else’s house.
ROYAL FLUSH
Straight shit that drops not much smell and when you wipe ya arse and there is no shit there…perfect shit.
THE POOHNIES
This is when a bunch of little shits drop down the pan like a gang of wrongens only for them to get pissed on by the real one eyed willy.
KOOL G CRAP/TURDISH DELIGHT
This is a monster turd some stinking dirty raw shit that is a real mans man type gangster shit. A shit that everyman drops once in a while and it makes them laugh to them self at how hardcore it is.


Thanks to one of my bloggers on for pic of the turd with a flag in…told you on crap heap challenge it would make the blog…hahaha.
Anyway I m off to watch the two Ronnie’s now in a bit you nerks.