The Faint....Balloon sack
Right.....set your mind back to 1998, Gangstarr's 'Moment Of Truth' is banging on the whip system, i'm rolling with Dj Blufoot and we are in Wandsworth, it's about one in the morning its just turned to new years eve morning. We're catchin' jokes and the car has 'in-car smoke system' mary jane flavour and bang in the rear view...Blue lights..the old Bill!
So Blu gets out and we have the normal chinese stand off, the pigs smell the mary j and its search time. We are in a blue golf and we are stopped by a riot van...believe that whats the chances?
Any way we are stopped as a brake light is out and the pigs swarmed and smelt the essance. They search car find an empty bag, they search Blu, sweet, they search me...uh ohh I have 2 grams of hash oil, rzas and a knife...i m nicked.
The pigs think its a new form of heroin and they are getting pumped, what happens next is unreal but very true. I have to explain its green skunk oil and thats why i have a knife. I then have to show them how to roll up with it, as they are asking where my needles and foil are.... After rolling spliffs 101 for the policemen i'm put in riot van after trying to blag them to just allow it. At the time i was on a 12 month conditional discharge that ran out on dec 31st that year, so that night which would mean no bail, straight to court and lock up.
I'm in riot van on way to Wandsworth nick and i'm filling the old bill in on where i'm from 'The Sticks' and saying "shit, i'm fuct i'm on lock up". They think i'm goin over the top till I get to the nick. I m booked and the Custody Sergeant asks where i m from etc, I say i'm from Broadmoor area and he laughs, how mush trouble can you get in the sticks? Suddenly he goes from joking to "oh shit, take him to the cell", so i'm in cell, blue matress I lay down and think "shit, bang up".
Just as i'm thinkin "right, gotta ring brief, its xmas, happy new year, nice!", the door opens and a copper comes in saying "you lucky lil bastard, come with me". I'm taken to front desk, i said "why?" he said some dude has gone nuts with a samari sword and all nicks are full and your last in but first out Country boy! So they do prints and dna swob and pic and i m told "your free to go with a caution"...lucky lucky should be doing 2 years for breaking discharge.
So i'm nicked and in & out of nick in 20 mins, sweet! I ring Blu and he rolls to nick and picks me up, I break it down and he's laughin but we are weedless, so he rings Sonny Slim to grab some weed to celebrate my freedom. We drive 35 mins to Sonny Slim's area and we dunno where his yard is, so we say meet at train station. We are waiting and then, out of no where, old bill car! Can you believe it? The old bill pull up and we are like "shit!", they ask us what we are doin and have we seen youths round here smashin up the station. We say no we are waitin for a mate to come take us to there house, the copper says ok and rolls off in whip. Within 5 mins Sonny turns up and we roll to his, cop some weed, each rollup and roll heading for Blu's.
it's now 0330 in the morning we are buzzing driving and then bang in the rear view Blu says "no way man"... old bill.. I freeze thinkin shit, blu says oh fuck....what?...Dog van! Thats it, my nuts disappear and my ballbag's like a deflated balloon..I tell Blu and say "what if we get pulled?" he says "i'll just faint" we start laughin and are just about to pull over before we get blues and twos then the dog van over takes and does one....lucky bastards.
We arrive at Blu towers, roll up and laugh at an incredible but true scrape with the pigs.
Right.....set your mind back to 1998, Gangstarr's 'Moment Of Truth' is banging on the whip system, i'm rolling with Dj Blufoot and we are in Wandsworth, it's about one in the morning its just turned to new years eve morning. We're catchin' jokes and the car has 'in-car smoke system' mary jane flavour and bang in the rear view...Blue lights..the old Bill!
So Blu gets out and we have the normal chinese stand off, the pigs smell the mary j and its search time. We are in a blue golf and we are stopped by a riot van...believe that whats the chances?
Any way we are stopped as a brake light is out and the pigs swarmed and smelt the essance. They search car find an empty bag, they search Blu, sweet, they search me...uh ohh I have 2 grams of hash oil, rzas and a knife...i m nicked.
The pigs think its a new form of heroin and they are getting pumped, what happens next is unreal but very true. I have to explain its green skunk oil and thats why i have a knife. I then have to show them how to roll up with it, as they are asking where my needles and foil are.... After rolling spliffs 101 for the policemen i'm put in riot van after trying to blag them to just allow it. At the time i was on a 12 month conditional discharge that ran out on dec 31st that year, so that night which would mean no bail, straight to court and lock up.
I'm in riot van on way to Wandsworth nick and i'm filling the old bill in on where i'm from 'The Sticks' and saying "shit, i'm fuct i'm on lock up". They think i'm goin over the top till I get to the nick. I m booked and the Custody Sergeant asks where i m from etc, I say i'm from Broadmoor area and he laughs, how mush trouble can you get in the sticks? Suddenly he goes from joking to "oh shit, take him to the cell", so i'm in cell, blue matress I lay down and think "shit, bang up".
Just as i'm thinkin "right, gotta ring brief, its xmas, happy new year, nice!", the door opens and a copper comes in saying "you lucky lil bastard, come with me". I'm taken to front desk, i said "why?" he said some dude has gone nuts with a samari sword and all nicks are full and your last in but first out Country boy! So they do prints and dna swob and pic and i m told "your free to go with a caution"...lucky lucky should be doing 2 years for breaking discharge.
So i'm nicked and in & out of nick in 20 mins, sweet! I ring Blu and he rolls to nick and picks me up, I break it down and he's laughin but we are weedless, so he rings Sonny Slim to grab some weed to celebrate my freedom. We drive 35 mins to Sonny Slim's area and we dunno where his yard is, so we say meet at train station. We are waiting and then, out of no where, old bill car! Can you believe it? The old bill pull up and we are like "shit!", they ask us what we are doin and have we seen youths round here smashin up the station. We say no we are waitin for a mate to come take us to there house, the copper says ok and rolls off in whip. Within 5 mins Sonny turns up and we roll to his, cop some weed, each rollup and roll heading for Blu's.
it's now 0330 in the morning we are buzzing driving and then bang in the rear view Blu says "no way man"... old bill.. I freeze thinkin shit, blu says oh fuck....what?...Dog van! Thats it, my nuts disappear and my ballbag's like a deflated balloon..I tell Blu and say "what if we get pulled?" he says "i'll just faint" we start laughin and are just about to pull over before we get blues and twos then the dog van over takes and does one....lucky bastards.
We arrive at Blu towers, roll up and laugh at an incredible but true scrape with the pigs.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment