Well well well…one of the highlights of my year has to be a night with Dave Courtney…(no homo). It was a classic night in Reading the Guiness and Hi grade was flowing then came the cherry on the top in the form of mr O B E the self confessed "the yellow pages of crime” Mr David Courtney. He took the stage and entertained with his scrapes and tales of the once naughty boy now best selling Author, dropping lines like “If theres old bill in ere and I sniffed em out they would have a fuckin belly button in their forehead the rat cunts” Dave had the crowd in stiches and in the palm of his hand. Amogst the crowd was celebs like Calum Best, Jodi “bum nose” Marsh, Bianca “me dad beat mi mum up but I still use his name for fame” Gascogne and a famous midget, also in the crowd bar the pepa seed and his mate who wishes to remain unknown was every bald headed gold wearing chav Kunt in Reading and the people off the estate that never leave the estate unless there is Bingo, A half price sale at Netto or The royal one David Courtney comes to town.
It was 3 hours plus of non stop jokes and quality one liners…Dave also had support in the form of James Mariner one time leader of the Chelsea headhunters who loved a bloody good tear up and was a bad bad man.
There was a lot of girls there I use the term loosely, this prompted me to ask my mate “what sort of bird goes to a night with Dave Courtney?” at which he replied…”That’s a fuckin good question…hahahha” this subject alone had the two of us lookin at the females in the room and pissing our selves and struggling to come up with an answer, most of them where rough as arseholes and looked like prisoners wives or extras from the Darts crowd…but there was one or two absolute stunners which added to our puzzle.
Any way if you havn’t been to see Dave Courtney it’s a must, I mean I m a fan but this would have anyone open who has a spare 12 quid, a couple of hours to kill and loves lines like..”Look her over there my missus…I gotta thank that Kunt cock sucker over there for getting me out tonight” , this is a must. This for me was like going to Mecca or running with bulls it was no let down and a proper good laugh and I got to see a legend in my world.
Anyway I m off to watch Hell to pay, in a bit you Nerks
It was 3 hours plus of non stop jokes and quality one liners…Dave also had support in the form of James Mariner one time leader of the Chelsea headhunters who loved a bloody good tear up and was a bad bad man.
There was a lot of girls there I use the term loosely, this prompted me to ask my mate “what sort of bird goes to a night with Dave Courtney?” at which he replied…”That’s a fuckin good question…hahahha” this subject alone had the two of us lookin at the females in the room and pissing our selves and struggling to come up with an answer, most of them where rough as arseholes and looked like prisoners wives or extras from the Darts crowd…but there was one or two absolute stunners which added to our puzzle.
Any way if you havn’t been to see Dave Courtney it’s a must, I mean I m a fan but this would have anyone open who has a spare 12 quid, a couple of hours to kill and loves lines like..”Look her over there my missus…I gotta thank that Kunt cock sucker over there for getting me out tonight” , this is a must. This for me was like going to Mecca or running with bulls it was no let down and a proper good laugh and I got to see a legend in my world.
Anyway I m off to watch Hell to pay, in a bit you Nerks
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