Im a Broadmoor Boy.

I thought i would give you a quick run down of the area and the shit that makes my Shire the best of the TRI-SHIRE area...so heres some local knowledge for your punk arse.
Broadmoor Hospital is a high-security psychiatric hospital in Crothorne , Berkshire…its fuking annoying as the alarms go off every Monday at ten and can be heard all around the area within 10 miles. Broadmoor opened as a mental institution in May 1863, and has since become synonymous with some of Britain's most notorious criminals but more importantly it is home of some of my favs too like Ronnie Kray, Roy “pretty boy” Shaw , the Yorkshire ripper, Rodderick Mclean and Charles Bronson.
The Broadmoor 'criminal lunatic asylum is a located on the edge of the Berkshire moors some 32 miles from London. The asylum was "intended for the reception, safe custody and treatment of persons who had committed crimes while actually insane or who became insane whilst undergoing sentence of punishment".
The centrepiece of Ascot's year, Royal Ascot is one of the World's most famous race meetings, steeped in history dating back to 1711. The royal family attend the meeting, arriving each day in a horse drawn carriage pompous bastards. It is a major event in the British social calendar and in Berkshire as there is “BARE GASH” in the area for the week, the country’s best Hoes all come out to play. Although this has placed Ascot onto the British social map, it has many direct effects on the local community, not least of which are the associated traffic problems…meaning every posh twat that can drive mainly seems to be in Ascot for the week. Ascot is also the home of Jagz nightclub or Slag’s as it is called by locals due to it being a pussy hotspot where you can get laid quicker than a fitted carpet. Bang next door to Ascot is Bracknell is a Saxon word meaning 'Bracken-covered Hiding Place'….my god it should have said stayed hidden it’s a dump and every girl aged 14 and up has a pram and kids off its own..its Bracknell Law..all girls in the area are known as Sperm Bandits.
Barack Obama's stepmother lives in Bracknell and he visited for his half-brother-in-law's Stag Night in 1998 where they got fuct up down the manor pub and simpsons nightclub. Keiza Obama, the first wife of Barack Obama Senior, was family guest of honour at Barack Obama Junior's inauguration for the US Senate….so if Barack gets in and the Ku Kunt Klan try and take him and his family out there could be sniper action in Bracknell…Fukin Yanks.

Local Celebs
Ulrikkkkkka Johnson, Pete sutcliff, Tom o connor…fukin nice bloke , Rolf Harris, Jeremy Kyle, Russ what a bloke Abbott, Brucie ……what a kunt, Heston I own the fat duck, Steve Redgrave, Marti Pillow, Lenny Henry and his pig, Paul Daniels and his fuckpiece, Ricky Gervais, Uri Geller…THE FAMOUS SPOONER AND BENDER, Kate Wingeclit, Linford Christie, Melinder show us ya tits Messenger.

Anyway I m off to try and do a Kool G Crap…in a bit you nerks.